One of the most refreshing feelings is no longer being in an unhealthy relationship - whether that’s a friendship or romantic relationship. Sometimes it takes a long time, even years, to gain the perspective you need in order to free yourself from that situation. My mom has always told me, “We accept the love we think we deserve” and that's always stuck with me. It’s important to remind ourselves of our worth and what that actually means to us. I have found myself in unhealthy friendships in the past; friendships that were perhaps one-sided or simply fake. I now force myself to take a step back and say, “Is this person a reflection of my character?” call me old-school, but I still believe, to a certain extent, that you are who you surround yourself with. It has taken me years of therapy to get to a place where I no longer hold onto these people - because I do not accept a love less than I deserve. Whereas unhealthy friendships have been simpler for me to shed, typical romantic relationships have taken me longer to rid myself of. These can require a lot of self-reflection and growth to get to a place of “no nonsense” as I like to call it.
All of the advice from girlfriends, family members, and therapists in the world can’t convince you of what you deserve from a relationship – only you can do that. Saying goodbye to an old friend or someone who has gained a place in your heart can be a real challenge. Removing yourself from an unhealthy situation doesn’t mean it was never special, it simply means you have outgrown it. Knowing what you deserve really goes back to self-worth and how you view yourself. If you know what you deserve when entering into a new friendship or relationship, no one can waste your time, unless you allow them to. It’s important for me to be kind in this lifetime, to treat others how I want to be treated. It’s equally as important for me to have boundaries and to know how I expect to be treated by someone whether that be a friend or boyfriend. I believe that when we discover this and stand by it, we have the ability to develop healthier and truer friendships / relationships. I encourage you to choose to have the courage to know your worth and heart!
"Know who you are.
Know what you want.
Know what you deserve.
Don’t settle for less."