Dating in my Twenties so far has taught me a lot – to have fun and always listen to my gut. Although dating can be exciting, I have found it difficult at times to wrap my head around certain things that take place during the dating game. One thing in particular that perplexes me is when a guy displays so much interest, then just ghosts or stands you up on the second or third date arranged by him. Besides the guy's lack of human decency, I have never been able to understand why men display interest – then pull back. When confronting these people about their actions, the typical response is: “You’re out of my league” or the oh so frustrating, “You’re too good for me.” After countless phone calls with my best girlfriends, I realized that as young women, a lot of us overthink or internalize what men tell us – there must always be an underlying meaning to what they’re saying…right? Wrong. I am learning that there are some guys out there who can’t handle being with an educated, confident, independent lady – which is fine, those just aren’t the guys for me.
I am learning, over time that dating is a lot of fun – but it’s also exhausting. Lessons are constantly being learned and I am consistently growing through my experiences. But there are some lessons that only need to be had once. Some important lessons I’ve learned include: never dim your shine for the person you’re dating. It’s easy to feel like you need to diminish who you are or downplay your accomplishments to be with someone who might not be there yet – don’t. A confident guy won’t be scared of your confidence or success, he’ll be happy to be with someone like you. I’ve learned to not chase people – if they’re meant for you then they will find their way back to you. If it’s meant to be, it will be.
The most recent lesson I’ve learned in dating is when a man tells you you’re too good for him - believe him. Overthinking and replaying the words of someone who hurt your feelings is simply a waste of time. If someone believes that you’re too good for them – in whatever capacity, that means they’re not the one for you. Chances are the relationship would’ve been built on insecurities anyway so consider yourself to have dodged a bullet. I encourage you to be yourself when dating - be who you are and be it proudly. I’m grateful for the experiences that I’ve had so far – and I’m even more grateful to be moving on from them. Have fun in the dating game, but never dull who you are in an attempt to be with someone who doesn’t sparkle the same way you do. Always shine, never settle.
“When a man tells you you’re too good for him,
- Lauren Eden